idiot

idiot...am i an idiot? apparently according to my family i am a failure. i am a waste and i am a disappointment. i have alot of bad luck. alot. and alot of it has to do with vehicles. most of the time, it is not my fault. stuff goes wrong, but yet everyone decides to blame me. yeah i dont know what i want to do and what plans i have or anything but everyone keeps throwing all of my problems in my face. all of them. and it hurts each time they do it stings more and more. and everyone wonders why i want to move out and get away from my family. i want a life of my own., it is my life and i can do with it what i want. but no one seems to get that. i cant live by what everyone else does or thinks or wants. ITS MY LIFE! yesterday i was called an idiot and a brat. they dont know anything that goes on in my life, they dont know the things i go through. they dont know the struggle that i have everyday when i wake up. i will not hurt myself but every time they say stuff like that to me it adds to the pain. it adds to the struggle. i cried yesterday. everything yesterday. it was horrible. the words that my family uses to lash oput at me hurt worse than my enemy. the words of loved ones sting worse than those of anyone else i know. i graduate today. i could be free. i could move. my dad will be gone until tuesday, imagine the lo0ok on his face when he comes home if im gone.... one day, i will be gone. i will really be gone. there are maybe two or three people i would tell where im going... but when im gone what will they do then. goodbye...

Forever&Always
Ashley